Tags
dodge, lexus, memory, moms, moves, moving, nissan, packing, pathfinder, poodles, ram 2500, roommates, rx400h, scad, sons, u-haul
Our oldest made his return to college Saturday. This was not our first fond farewell, having over the years sent him off to summer camps, boarding school, and the first year of college, but somehow yesterday was different, he was moving into his own home, well, own home with four other roommates.
The whole process was most entertaining and it brought back a flood of memories.
To begin with, all our carefully thought out plans fell by the wayside. The big Dodge 2500 is still in the shop. She was going to be the workhorse of the move. So, you say, no problem, I am sure you have a Plan B. Well good old Plan B did not work out either. Since my son’s Pathfinder did not have wiring for the trailer lights, there was no U-Haul for us, not rentable. Surely, we can use one of the open-air trailers here at Totem Hall, right? Ooh, too bad, the Lexus, choice three, with tow package and harness, is no good, faulty wiring.
The end result: ah, stuff it in the back of the Nissan.
He is definitely my son.
How crazy time is, really. We move through it, try our best to hold on to it, swimming upstream, you know.
Was it just the other day that I was making my own moves, possessions stuffed into a trash bag, or two? Or how about renting the first moving truck, enlisting a couple of friends with offers of beer and lunch, forgetting to tie down everything in back.
Then came children, just the births alone seem long ago, though, in the grandness of time, not too far away, remembered, just not able to be captured again, the first words, the first walk, off to school, off to university.
Life is such a funny game…
Dearest Gentleman Farmer,
What a beautiful sweet/sad testament to parenthood, and indeed, life. I just wish I didn’t read it right before bed…swimming upstream as I fall asleep.
Now my fingers are crossed for my girls to pick a school in MA. Perhaps Harvard Square Community College. Or if they are so inclined, The Toolshed Across the River.
I hope he has not inherited all of your driving habits…..
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Dear Bebe
Crazy how it all works out, isn’t it? As my two grow and move on, I am constantly made aware of my past, now their present, and my parent’s past, now my present, such a strange, strange continuum. I think you will find the same for your girls, no matter their future choice in school location.
Ha, no, thank you, W is a much better driver than his father.
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Our children never realize we see their youth through the prism of our own experience. Sometimes we don’t realize that as well. As its been said many times before, life is bittersweet. Or a line from one of my favorite songs. “What a beautiful piece of heartache, this has all turned out to be.”
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Dear Benjamin
That is a wonderful line, very spot on. How true you are about the way both generations view our common experiences. It reminds me of the Mark Twain quote about parents getting smarter over time, certainly the case in my part.
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Thanks! And I agree with the Mark Twain quote as well. I often wish my grandmother was still around so I could tell her how smart she was!
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I hate to lower the tone but this is such a moment in the chronological time line of a family no? I watched a particular episode of Modern Family when the family drop off their ditzy daughter to college and I was in tears. And unexpectedly so bc I am not the sappy sort. I didn’t realize it at the time but my parents couldn’t believe I was leaving and now looking back they were being so brave and I didn’t even realize. PS I pack like that and drove my parents insane in equal measure 🙂
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Dear Naomi
That is such a sweet memory of yours, young Naomi off to face the world; cherish it, I know you will. Looking back through time it is striking how much of our parent’s interior world we miss. A reflection, I guess, of the self-centeredness that comes with young. We age and if we are lucky, they age with us. From there we play catch up with all that knew and all that they can tell, racing against the clock.
Like you, I too used to pack like W, at least until I got old, boring, and compulsive.
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Glad to see he has his keyboard and amp. That greatly enhances the prospect of faring well. My son is off to college this month as well. On we go. Moving along. He’s way more sensible than me. I think. I hope. 🙂
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Jim
I tell you, it is such a funny thing, growing older, gaining this, losing that. Like you, my son is way more sensible than me, at least my memory of me then and now.
Enjoy your time with him before he heads off…
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I am reminded watching your son of my efforts to fold a futon in half and jam it in the back of a Toyota Paseo for the trek to college. That was good, but pulling it out was another matter altogether. Things were certainly simpler then. I could pack up my whole life in two hours, not, mind you, without some grunting and nearly flipping the car on its side. A great and heart-warming post. I wish your son much success and joy as he sets out on this grand adventure…
Michael
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Michael
Thank you so much for your kind and thoughtful words. It is a grand adventure and life surely used to be simpler.
I had not heard or thought of a futon in an awfully long time, maybe college days. Oh, the memories…
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This brings back such poignant memories! He’s off to a great adventure. So beautifully told.
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Dear Miss J-
Thank you, he is off to a grand adventure, just as ours were and are. The flow of the river of life keeps on flowing; one stream that refuses a dam.
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What a lovely and touching post and still add a touch of the Gentlemans humor! Will oldest be to far? I remember when I first moved out with friends into a huge four story home. It was so fun and very cool. And I still went home once a week to visit my parents once a week for dinner.
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My Dear Mistress
He is going to be a bit far off, too far for crashing evening supper. His first home sounds a bit like your first home, big and rambling and ramshackle. The fun and cool part is already there, now if I can just convince to get a job to pay for all the fun and cool.
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Very well done GF both on the move and post. Quite a rite of passage for all of you which always gives one pause to remember the important things in life. From this vantage point, you’ve got your priorities well arranged.
*I’m not sure why I never get your notifications as I thought you were on estended summer recess.
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Brother GSL
Thank you so much for your kind words on both counts, move and post, though I am not too sure of the merits of either. It is a rite of passage, one of the big ones, so many emotions, so many memories. As a parent, you let your child go, really, that is the easy part. As a parent, you also want to say so much, guide so well, protect so often, and that, well, that is the hard part.
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***BTW: just noticed your Recent Reading note in the margin. The Sense of an Ending is a masterpiece and have already read it 3 times. Loved Arthur & George too!
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My Dear GSL
I have heard of Arthur and George and I will check it out. Read Nothing to Be Frightened Of, many of the themes in Sense of an Ending Barnes develops in this book.
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great photo story, I hope the move will be smooth for all of you! Thanks for sharing this intense and important moment in your life. Wanda
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My Dear Miss W –
Ha, yep, it is an intense and important moment in our lives, but for my son, for my son it is also a yippie kay yay, out of here moment!
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